Lifestyle

4 things to do to develop EQ for children

In the future society, children’s emotional intelligence will be as important as IQ.

26 July, 2022

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A child who speaks sweetly, is polite, makes friends, and has a high emotional intelligence is more likely to be liked and successful in the future.

A large number of studies have shown that emotional intelligence will account for a larger proportion of children’s work and later life. In particular, this stat can be cultivated through daily training.

If parents regularly teach these 4 things to their children, they can significantly improve their children’s emotional intelligence.

First, decide for yourself

The child asked his mother and father, ” Can I invite my classmates over to my house?”

“Okay, it’s up to you to decide.”

“Mom, I want to buy a book?”

“It’s up to you to decide, just use your own money to buy it.”

Listening to children’s thoughts on every little thing helps children feel involved and achieved, and they are more willing to take responsibility and think for others.

Parents should start teaching children decision-making skills from the age of 4 to 5 years old. At first, parents should train children to make small decisions to gradually build confidence and develop decision-making skills for children. For example, choosing between two dishes for breakfast, or shoes for a weekend getaway.

These choices are not usually important, but they give children their first experience in decision-making skills.

Illustration: Aboluowang

Second, parents love you, but don’t like your behavior

Parents should not rush to assign “negative labels” to their children, for example, if they don’t like to share toys, say they are stingy , if they don’t like running, say they are lazy, when children make mistakes, they will criticize them.

We should not blindly oppress or criticize our children, but should use more skillful ways of commenting.

“Honey, I love you, but I don’t like you being picky.”

“Son, I love you, but because you made a mistake, I still have to punish you.”

Children will realize that the behavior just now is wrong, and later will gradually correct it without any mental damage.

Helping children understand that their actions will affect others is one of the important lessons you have to teach them. But never obey your child’s actions and automatically clean up the “garbage” the child has just created.

After you have pointed out the wrong behavior to your child and explained why it was wrong, let’s try to find a way to solve your problem in a more positive way. Instead of saying, “I’m not allowed to do that anymore,” try another way of saying it, asking what your child wants in the situation.

For example, if a child gets angry, frustrated, and throws a toy in the past, parents should ask, “If you feel uncomfortable, would you like to go out and play for a while to relax?” Depending on your child’s age, you will have clear, easy-to-understand instructions and your child may need your help until more positive behaviours.

Third, your opinion also needs to be heard

Many parents like to give orders to their children, always feeling that the child must obey, do whatever the parents want. This is not recommended by experts because it can make children too dependent on others, lazy to think or too shy to give opinions.

Instead, parents should listen to their children’s voices more. For example, you could ask your child where to go on the weekend? What hobby class do you like and why? The family can also plan a family trip with the child and consult with the child.

In this way, children not only practice their language skills but also actively participate in family communication. As a result, children will be more assertive, confidently express their opinions, and have higher emotional intelligence.

Fourth, let’s make a rule and stick to it together

Rules should be applied to the whole family, so that both parents and children work together.

You say that children are not allowed to watch TV for more than 1 hour a day, do not play on the phone before going to bed, but the parents themselves do not comply with those things. Therefore, I do not have an example so I will not really pay attention to the principles.

At the same time, solutions should be provided to help children implement the principles more easily.

For example, if the whole family turns off the TV after 9 p.m. and communicates with each other for 30 minutes, this process will help the family stick to the agreement. Children will also be subtly influenced by the way their parents communicate.

Depending on the parent’s education, the child’s future is a mystery. It is hoped that parents will pay attention to cultivating children’s emotional intelligence, learning how to communicate with children correctly. It is recommended to get rid of the previous wrong methods of communication and thinking, use reasonable and appropriate language to stimulate children’s abilities and improve their level. In the future, children contain the whole blue sky.

If you teach your children about these 4 things regularly, you will find that the relationship between children and parents is much softer, the family is less friction, and the relationship will be more harmonious.

According to Aboluowang